Sunday, June 15, 2014

Arizona - the not so fun part

One morning as I was getting up really early to get ready before all the little people started waking I received terrifying news.

Scout, my 5 year old niece, fell from the second story window onto the cement driveway.  She was rushed to the hospital.  I can't even imagine what it must have been like for Noelle to walk out and find her daughter like that. (I took these pictures from Noelle's blog.)

As I laid there, in that early morning, I felt like I couldn't breathe.  I was completely panicked just waiting on every piece of information I could.  I wanted to be there.  I wanted everything to be OK. I prayed.  I prayed for Noelle, for Scout and for her family.  All I wanted to do that morning was hold my kids and my phone real tight.  Trials affect the person involved. but it's like they make a large ring out.  It affects many people in different ways.  I truly was impacted by the love and support my friends gave me to show their support for Noelle and her family.  This experience gave many a way to show God's love.  As the days went by, and many prayers were said, Scout started to recover.  Faster than anyone could even hope.  The left side of her body was completely fractured.  From her eye orbit, spleen, fractured wrist and hip -everything was going to be OK.

Scout, after a long while, started to remember the events and she told me one day.  She was very brave.  She remembers falling and holding on the the "black thing" and when she couldn't hold on anymore she said she hit the ground.  We are so blessed to have her safe and sound.  This was nothing short of another one of God's miracles.  He is so evident in my life and I can't explain it any other way. Scout was soon on her way home to heal with her family.

As if this week hadn't been emotional enough, I finally got to talk to Huntsman's Cancer institute.  The news wasn't what I hoped for.  30% of Jeremy's cancer cells were non-snoma cells that transferred up through his blood and possibly have spread into his lymph-nodes.  A few of his nodes were larger than normal, possibly due to cancer.  Dang it.  The weight of everything was so heavy on my shoulders I could actually feel the weight.  The only way I could get through all this was to turn it over to Heavenly Father.  It's hard.  Jeremy was doing awesome.  It just didn't seem like this could happen.  I spent many nights talking to Jeremy.  He was so much stronger than me. You see, the worst part about cancer isn't the cancer itself.  It's the waiting between tests, the surgeries, and just telling people.  It is a step by step process that you just have to go through,  By this point I had planned Jeremy's funeral 5 times.  I was a mess.  I wouldn't sleep at night and found myself waking up in tears.  Till one day, my dear friend said, "Heather, you can live in fear or have faith."  She was right.  My prayers then changed and Heavenly Father and I carried the weight together.  This was all going to be OK.

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